For adults from troubled families who turn to a new course for their lives, the Process of Recovery brings renewed energy, new understanding and new hope.

This video is designed to help the viewer recognize how present life is influenced by the past, release the parts of the past they'd like to put behind them, and enable them to take responsibility for how they live their lives today.

As Claudia Black says, If recalling something from the past feels like you have to 'drag it up' there is almost always unresolved pain attached to the experience that still affects you today.

Claudia describes the process of putting the past behind with:

Exploring the past – all for the purpose of undoing a denial process and grieving the losses.

Connecting the past to the present – if people only explore the past it can become a blaming process – you must ultimately ask yourself how the past affects present day.

Challenge the Beliefs – identify the beliefs you internalized in growing up years and ask which ones are hurtful, which ones are helpful. Claudia challenges you to take ownership of those that will support you in a recovery process.

Learn Skills – ultimately the skills you learn give you greater choices in how you live your life.

Taking any of these steps without the others often leads to a plateau in the healing process. After reviewing these four steps Claudia walks the viewer through five foundational codependent recovery issues.

Self Validation – It’s hard to be self-approving when as a child you learned that no matter what you did it was never good enough. By validating yourself you no longer have to continue to seek approval outside of yourself on a chronic basis. By validating yourself, it becomes possible to recognize the gifts that come with the process of recovery.

Letting go of Control – After having a better picture of external and internal control (the styles in which people often control) it’s easier to recognize that while controlling behaviors were helpful in the growing up years, they are major barriers to that which is important in adulthood.

Feelings – Feelings are cues and signals that indicate what it is you need. Fear of feelings and a limited range of access fuels self-defeating behaviors. By identifying feelings you recognize your needs.

Needs – you may have spent so many years being focused on other people and their needs it’s difficult to identify and attach value to your own needs. When you don’t know what your needs are they will not get met with any kind of consistency.

Boundaries - limit setting is the skill that ultimately allows you the framework for getting your needs met. Embracing the gifts of the words No and Yes is the skill set to having healthy boundaries.

Self validation offers you the courage and initial strength to let go of some control. As you let go of some control, you begin to feel the feelings. Your feelings will tell you what you need. Being able to say No and Yes allows you to set the boundaries in getting your needs met today. Applying the four steps to each of these foundational issues is essential to the process.

Preview

To view the first 5 minutes of this video, click on the View Video Clip. You will need to have QuickTime Media Player installed on your computer. A free download is available here.

Running time is 42 minutes.